


"I love you"

by WarriorWolf2285



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Phan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-05 13:34:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6706408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WarriorWolf2285/pseuds/WarriorWolf2285
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of Dan recovering from the most tragic moment of his life, Phil's death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The last vows

"You now may share your first kiss as husband and husband", the priest says happily. Dan and Phil look into each other's eyes, which tears of joy were welling up in as they close the gap between them sharing a passionate kiss, trying to grasp this moment of bliss for as long as they can. They slowly break apart, taking in what just happened and revelling on the fact that this is the best day of their lives. "I love you", Phil says under his breath lovingly. Dan's eyes begin to tear even more, as he looks down at his left hand, now with a beautiful silver band hugging his ring finger and then back up at his husband and the love of his life, Phil. "I love yo-" Dan was cut off by a sudden BANG followed by a warm liquid spraying on his face. Phil crumples to the floor, pulling Dan down with him. Dan's thoughts swirled like a tornado in his mind, trying to grasp onto what on earth was happening. But he was knocked out of his haze when he saw a bright redness beginning to flow across the ground towards him. Blood. Dan was cruelly drawn back into reality, greeted with screams filling the atmosphere. He focused on Phil, there was a gaping hole on the side of his head, blood pooling beneath it on the ground. The crimson liquid trickled down Phil's open mouth and from his nose. Phil's face looked plain, lifeless, dead. His eyes were no longer their usual bubbly bright blue that Dan loved ever so much but they were now a dull grey. Dan tried to process these horrific images that he was looking at, but the one thing that stood out was that Phil was dead. He looked at his trembling hands which was covered in blood, Phil's blood. "Phil!, Answer me Phil!, Phil!", Dan screamed as he desperately shook Phil's lifeless body. Dan was now trembling violently as he kept on screaming out for his husband to answer, but of course he didn't receive one. More and more people began crowding around the raised floor where Dan and Phil were being wedded happily only minutes ago. Dan began sobbing and wailing hopelessly, trying to believe that what just happened is a dream but it was the cruel grinning face of reality smiling back at him. Dan desperately launched himself at Phil connecting their lips one last time, immediately tasting the coppery metallic taste of Phil's blood entering his mouth. Tears were streaming down his face onto his suit, mingling with the stains from the spray of blood. Dan slid his hands under Phil's back and lifted him until he was holding and hugging him. Phil's head lolled to the side as Dan hugged his body, breathing in his sweet scent, resting his face in the crook of Phil's neck as he and Phil usually did after they had a passionate kiss or love session. Dan could now hear sirens of the police and ambulance nearing as people hustled and bustled around him. Dan numbed himself to the surrounding screams and cries and just replayed Phil's last words over in his head. "I love you".


	2. 1 week has passed

"There was a shooting yesterday at about 2 in the afternoon, killing one man. Police and Paramedics tried to save him but he was confirmed dead at the scene. The shooter is still on the run, there will be an update on the situation when we receive more information". Dan turned the TV off, he couldn't listen anymore. Tears stained his face from crying and his voice ached from screaming in anger and despair. He wanted to feel numb, painless, he couldn't bear it anymore, he wanted to just stop "feeling", he wanted Phil back. He never got release, the thick smell of blood stilled filled his nostrils, the gun shot continued to ring in his ears but the realisation that Phil was gone and was never coming back was the only thing that wasn't sticking. Dan wandered slowly, dragging each foot up the climb of stairs to his destination. He stepped inside the doorway the familiar green and blue pattern of Phil's bedsheets meeting him. Dan immediately ran over to Phil's bed, engulfing his body in Phil's bedspread breathing in his scent. He sobbed in despair, muffled by the bedsheets. All he wanted was Phil, his love of his life, his soul mate, his best friend. Phil was apart of Dan and he would never be the same without him. Dan sobbed and moaned, tears now streaming uncontrollably down his red puffy cheeks. This went on for hours, until Dan couldn't cry anymore, his throat burned even more from sobbing. He slowly looked up, eyes red and raw, nose running, over at Phil's bedside table. Sitting on it, was a cheesy framed photo of the two of them kissing after Dan proposed in Japan. Dan reached over for the photo and held it to his chest. For the first time in what felt like years, Dan lips formed a smile. He remembered all those happy times he spent with Phil. Maybe he will be able to get through this. He may not have Phil with him but the memory of Phil is still with him and that's the only thing keeping Dan alive and whole. Dan eventually succumbed to sleep, tired from the constant pain and sobbing. Surrounded by Phil's possessions and smell, he felt somewhat less distressed. But Dan still needed to do one thing, the funeral. 

It had been one week since Phil's death. The funeral was that afternoon and Dan hadn't been doing to well. He had eaten hardly anything since the shooting and had been vomiting numerous times a day. Phil's parents and brother, PJ, Chris and Louise came to visit to help with the planning of the funeral earlier last week. Dan stayed mostly quiet while they were there, he didn't want to talk about it. Phil's parents and brother planned the most of it and the others chipped in every now and then. They didn't address Dan until they were discussing what should be written on Phil's gravestone. "Dan, I know that this is hard for you but it is also difficult for the rest of us, please tell us what you would like to be written on his gravestone", Louise said to him as gently as possible. Dan looked up, slowly blinking out of his haze. He looked at the people sitting around the table, Phil's mum and Louise had been obliviously crying, shown by the mascara running down their cheeks and the redness in her eyes. Marvin and Phil's father were looking over at Dan with red eyes,hopeful for a reply and PJ and Chris were wiping away small tears running down their cheeks. Dan knew that he was being a jerk but he couldn't help it, he felt like he had nothing to live for anymore without Phil. But he remembered what Phil said in response to the question 'What do you want written on your gravestone?' in Philisnotonfire 7. 'Oh Phil, there was never a better king of the universe'.   
" I want that to be written", Dan said softly. Dan continued, "and that he was loved by all and that he was a beloved husband, son, brother and friend and that he will be incredibly missed and that we loved him and that I, I loved him.." Dan realised that he was rambling and slowly trailed off. Tears began sliding down his cheeks, small sobs began escaping his throat. Everyone around the table was now crying, immediately triggering Dan, sending him into a mad wave of tears and sobs. Everyone pulled Dan into a big group hug, joining his sobs and crying. "I just love him so much.." Dan says in between sobs. "I know hun, we all do", Louise replied pulling Dan slightly closer towards herself. "We all do..." She trailed off, "We all do...."

Today was now the day of the funeral. Dan really didn't want to go. He knew that that sounded extremely selfish, but wasn't prepared to see everyone after what happened. But he was going to do it for Phil, because he knew he would want him to. Phil's mother asked all of Phil's friends to bring something to put on the coffin that reminded them or that somehow related to Phil. Dan was now wearing a black suit and tie with a white undershirt and black boots. He lazily brushed and straightened his hair in the bathroom and washed his face, trying to lighten the redness in his eyes from crying earlier. Dan then walked into Phil's room which he had been sleeping in for the past week and looked around for something to bring to put on the coffin. His eyes gazed over to Phil's beloved Lion sitting on the bedhead. He walked over and picked it up, holding it close, smiling a little at the fact that Phil loved this tiny plush toy almost as much as he loved Dan. He then picked up the photo of them in Japan kissing from under the bedsheets since he fell asleep with it every night. Dan closed his eyes for a moment, as he did most afternoons while holding the photo and remembered the time of proposing to Phil. It was on the last day of their trip, they were in one of the parks in Tokyo, Duncan, Mimei, Phil and himself were all sitting on the grass, talking and snacking on some pocky when Dan stood up pulling Phil up with him. "Phil, you are the love of my life and I want to spend the rest of my days with you, you are my little lion and you are my soul mate. And well", Dan said he slowly lowered himself onto one knee "Phil, will you marry me?" While he opened the little felt box containing a silver ring. Phil immediately burst into tears, pulling Dan up from the ground into a passionate kiss, when they slowly parted Phil whispered to Dan, "Of course I'll marry you, you spoon", smiling with small tears at the corners of his eyes. Dan was crying and grinning as well, he took out the silver ring and slid it on Phil's left ring finger. Dan and Phil then shared another passionate kiss, pulling each other close. Duncan and Mimei were clapping and cheering, Mimei was holding her camera, taking the photo that was now framed.   
How that was such a happy moment in Dan's life. But now it was gone. Phil had been ripped away, taken, stolen from Dan. And now Dan was about to go attend Phil's funeral, which just confirms his death. He still couldn't believe it, he waited all day for Phil to walk in the front door, but of course that'll never happen. "Why, Ph, Phil?, Why did you leave me?," Dan moaned in between sobs. "I love you..." Dan whimpered. Dan was now sitting on Phil's bed, with his hands over his face, muffling his sobs, Lion and the photograph were sitting next to him. Dan wasn't sad anymore, he was angry. Angry, at the man who took Phil away. Dan yelled as loud as he could, getting up and running into the wall and began banging his hands on the wall. "I hate you, I hate you, I HATE YOU!" Dan was screaming. Dan slowly sunk to the floor, his hands ringing in pain, he was softly whimpering, tears streaking down his face. Dan heard a car horn outside of the apartment, it must've been Louise coming to pick him up to take him to the funeral. Dan didn't move, he didn't want to respond, hoping that Louise would go away if he didn't come out. Minutes passed, then Dan heard the sound of the front door unlocking. He pulled his knees up to his chest, trying to make himself as small as possible. "Dan!", Louise called out. She slowly made her way around the lounge room, checking for Dan. Then she thought of where he would've been, Phil's bedroom. She made her way up the stairs, then stepping inside Phil's bedroom. Louise couldn't see Dan until she looked to the left and saw him curled up, crying. "He looks so small", she thought to herself. Even though Dan was a 6ft 3 giant, he just looked so small and weak. Louise leant down to Dan's level. "Hi, hun..", she said gently. "We need to leave soon, in order to make Phil's funeral". Dan slowly looked up at Louise, she was wearing a black lace dress with black stocking and black high heals, with a beautiful black floral hair clip in her neatly tied bun. Dan stared back at her for a few moments, until he broke, releasing a wave of tears. "I just want him back", he said during his cries. Louise brought him into a hug and rocked gently, "I know Dan, I know, but you have to be strong for Phil, he will be watching over you always and he would want you to go to his funeral, to see him off", Louise said, trying to keep back tears herself. Dan after a few minutes eventually stopped crying, Louise just sat with him in an understanding silence, waiting for him calm down. Dan looked at Louise and nodded, she then helped him up to his feet and wiped away the last tears on his face. "You can do this Dan, do it for Phil", she said, pulling him into another hug. Dan nodded and walked over to pick up Lion, the photograph and his part of Phil's eulogy. Louise clutched his hand as they walked out to her car which was waiting outside. "I can do this, Dan thought to himself, do this for Phil".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry for the kinda late upsate my internet was out for a while. Also, I tried to make this chapter as long as possible, I hope that the next chapter can be fairly long as well.
> 
> Please leave a comment and kudos, it really means alot to me!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not crafting you are crafting!  
> Well, I was kinda depressed one afternoon and I thought of an entire story of how Dan recovers from Phil's death. So this is going to be a series which I will update when I can and I hope you enjoy it since it is bitter-sweet. 
> 
> I would like to give a shout out to the author, "wordsongs". I am currently reading her story "when it rains, it pours" which is absolutely amazing and one of the best phanfictions I have ever read so please check that out and her other works! 
> 
> I would also like to suggest the Phanfiction "just a dream" on fanfiction.net which is also one of the best I have ever read.
> 
> So yeah, please comment and leave kudos it means alot to me, and I'll see you in the next chapter!


End file.
